What Recovery Gets Wrong: The Partner's Side of the Story

 The recovery world loves to talk about healing, but what about the people most impacted by the chaos? In this brutally honest episode, Matt and Paige pull back the curtain on what treatment centers, therapists, and traditional recovery programs often miss: the spouse’s experience.

Why are partners immediately labeled codependent? Why is their anger pathologized while the addict’s pain is protected? Why are they expected to forgive before they’ve even been allowed to grieve?

Matt and Paige dive into their own story, breaking down how betrayal trauma affects the brain, what real accountability looks like, and how programs often rush to protect the addicted person at the expense of their partner’s healing. Drawing from personal experience and insights from experts like Dr. Jake Porter, they explore:

• How trauma shows up in the body and brain
• Why forgiveness without accountability is gaslighting
• The myth of “you just need to understand addiction”
• Why codependency is not a diagnosis, and not always accurate
• What couples actually need to rebuild trust and safety
• The missing ingredient in most treatment programs: the spouse or partner

This episode is for anyone who's ever been told they were "part of the problem" simply for being hurt. If you’re tired of the recovery narrative leaving you out, this one’s for you.

Check out Dr. Porter's Lecture Here:

Part 1

Part 2

If you’re ready to reclaim your story, check out our course Independently Strong—a powerful path forward for partners and spouses of addicts. Use code WHEELIES75 at checkout for 75% off.